‘I had an experience that rocked my world’: Super Netball player Cara Koenen on violence against women

Source : ABC NEWS

Cara Koenen is universally adored in the Super Netball world.

The foundation Sunshine Coast Lightning player has precision under the net and a charismatic approach to life both in and out of the shooters’ circle.

But beneath the surface, the 29-year-old has been consumed by an experience that she says rocked her existence.

Koenen is a victim of sexual assault, and she is speaking out against gendered violence.

Netball is the highest participation sport for women and girls in Australia, a fact that fills Koenen with pride.

But with it, comes a set of heart-sinking numbers on the sideline, one in four of them will have experienced domestic violence.

Koenen knows her position at the top level brings power to speak to a captive audience.

“We know that sport has the power to change attitudes and shape culture. So, we want to be role models, not just in how we play, but in how we lead,” Koenen said.

“I had an experience that really rocked my whole world to be honest.”

Koenen says that experience affected her confidence, and from there, came a flow on effect.

‘It became all-consuming’

Koenen says a big part of gendered violence is the misconception that it will happen at the hands of a stranger.

“Statistically, the perpetrator is way more likely to be someone known to you, or an intimate partner.

“We hear so much about how our actions lead to these violent acts … that rhetoric that there’s something you’ve done wrong that led to the abuse. 

“That was something I really grappled with.”

Koenen says it impacted her netball and the ability to study. 

“It became all-consuming in all parts of my life … I couldn’t escape it,” she said.

Koenen says concentration and sleep were her two biggest struggles after her experience.

“My confidence on court was deteriorating and training and playing was no longer an escape or a place I could use to distract myself,” she said.

Koenen sat with the experience on her own for a period of time, because she felt embarrassment about what had happened but eventually found the strength to reach out to friends and family, who she says she is “extremely grateful for.”

‘You never think it will happen to you’

Koenen notched up her 100th national league match in April this year, is studying a Masters of Molecular Imaging Technology and sits in the top five for offensive rebounds in this season’s Super Netball competition, but says it is important to know that domestic violence doesn’t discriminate.

“You never think it will happen to you,” she said.

“We grow up learning how to keep ourselves as safe as possible, even in Australia which is supposed to be one of the safest countries in the world. But even that isn’t always enough.”

Her words follow a powerful statement released by the Australian Netball Players’ Association (ANPA), in which they released a social media video calling domestic and family violence the most urgent social issue facing Australian women.

One woman is killed every nine days by a current or former partner.

In 2024 alone, 37 women lost their lives to gendered violence and over 4,600 women were hospitalised due to family and domestic violence — an average of 13 women every single day.

And domestic and family violence is the leading cause of homelessness for women and children in our country.

The decision to become publicly vocal about the issue stemmed from a general survey conducted on SSN players, with the results showing over 98 per cent of players surveyed felt the need to address domestic violence.

“I went back-and-forth a few times about whether I wanted to speak to my own personal experience,” Koenen said.

“But statistically there are many more people playing on an SSN court who are far more affected by this than we know.”

Men need to be part of the conversation

Koenen also challenged the public to examine the seemingly “harmless” behaviours and attitudes that could perpetuate a future of violence in younger generations.

“It starts with those little misogynistic, patriarchal behaviours or comments, like telling a girl [a boy] pulls your hair because he likes you. 

“They seem harmless, but they contribute to this broader issue. It’s our role to educate ourselves and others about what is and isn’t acceptable.”

Koenen also urges men to have a part in the conversation.

“We need to create a society where everyone calls out harmful behaviour, where we empower each other and especially the little girls who look up to us, to speak out and say, ‘that’s not okay’, Koenen said.

“No matter what that little voice in the back of your head tells you, it’s never anything to do with the victim.

“It has everything to do with society and how we educate people and provide safe spaces for those who’ve suffered through domestic and family violence.

“No part of what happened to me was my fault.”

Koenen also emphasises that if you’re not hearing about it, it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

“We haven’t yet created a safe enough space for people to be able to come forward with their experiences,” she said.

“And ask for the help they need and deserve.”